An elegant way to apologize for everything so wrong yet so right

 
 
 
 
 


Worst Things About a Boner in Class

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Posted April 4, 2013 by in SCHOOL

If you’re a guy, you know it totally sucks when you catch yourself daydreaming a little bit in class, and before you know it, have yourself a full-fledged rager. Our secret to get it down? Think of random numbers, pencils, and desks. If that doesn’t work, the ol’ Texas Belt Buckle is always a solid option.

Sure, girls have a ton of problems that happen with their bods, but most of the time, it’s nowhere near as embarrassing.

Since we only hope it’s not your turn to present to the class after a little too much tits thought, here’s a couple reasons to avoid the subject to begin with.

 

You Can Never Seem to Get it Down: We gave you a couple suggestions above to get rid of the thing, but short of cutting it off – never an option – there’s not an easy solution. They come at the most inopportune times, and make you feel like you’ve had one for hours – but don’t contact your Doctor, just try really, really hard (no pun intended) to think of something horrifying.

 

A Girl Catches You With One: We once knew a kid who shit his pants while running the mile in middle school. That poor kid heard about it through high school, and since we’re complete assholes, it’s actually the first thing we think about when we hear his name. Like shit-kid, once a chick catches you touching any part of your shaft in a public place, it’s never a simple, “I was readjusting,” yet always a, “He was completely beating-off to hot sorority chick’s giant ones.”

 

You’re In Sweatpants or Mesh Shorts: Rolling into class hungover, wreaking of alcohol and sex from the night before is a rite of passage in college. Once you’ve done it, you realize all those hours you spent getting ready in high school were a complete waste. However, as a gentlemen, the worst thing that can possibly happen is when “that little guy” starts rubbing the soft interior, gets a little too comfortable, and starts moving around. Everything’s fucking visible, so there’s no chance in hell you’re covering it up.

 

You Can’t “Take Care of It”: We’ve been on record as saying both “Respect my boner,” and to “Never waste a boner.” Believing in practicing what we preach, we’d typically enjoy a boner better than the next person. For about all the reasons you can think of, being in class and masturbating don’t go hand in hand. Is that rule assumed or is it actually written somewhere?

 

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2 Comments


  1.  
    someone

    in maths class it always happens with my beautiful teacher





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