An elegant way to apologize for everything so wrong yet so right


What Not to Do on Spring Break

Posted March 4, 2013 by in SCHOOL


As Spring Break gets closer, there’s plenty of things you can do to make sure it’s the – one of which is schedule a trip with us and Student City! From choosing the right friends to go with, to knowing all the hot spots to hit, you don’t want to have any hiccups in your planning. What that means is that with all the ways to do it right, there’s plenty of ways to royally fuck it up.

Here’s just a few things that go on the “Don’t” list.


1. Get featured on Cops: Seriously, stay out of jail. While it makes for a great story (most bad decisions do), you’ll miss all the fun stuff going on while you’re behind bars. Party harder and smarter, kids. If you’re going to be bad, be good at it.


2. Earn a role on ‘Girls Gone Wild’: Ladies, by all means, make sure you’re having a good ass time, but be cautious if something is being filmed – especially if you’re asked to sign a piece of paper before going on a topless slip ‘n’ slide. Your current (or future) man will probably not be too cool with you being in his best friend’s spank bank.


3. Treat your body like a crash test dummy: Sticks and stones will break your bones… but so will letting your friends use you as a human surf board. Matter of fact, it’s probably best to avoid water and surfaces higher than a foot if you start drinking at 10am every morning.


4. Forget what a condom is: It’s not rocket science, people. If you paid attention in health class, you know all the risks. So unless you want unspeakable horrors to happen to your naughty bits (ex: a lifetime of applying ointment or pushing out a baby), wrap it before you tap it.


5. Homework: The only thing you should be reading are the directions to the nearest nude beach. We’re positive that 50-page term paper can wait until you get back on campus. Okay, maybe not, but you should’ve thought about that before you went on vacation, genius.


6. Fail to dress to impress: First off, try to avoid looking like a tourist. Leave the fanny pack at home…and burn it when you get back. Also, remember that it’s not necessary to rock your swimwear everywhere, you packed clothes for a reason.


7. Get a massage before or after drinking: Sounds like an awesome idea in theory, right? Pound a couple of fishbowls, and then let some hottie give you a rubdown. Problem is, massages increase circulation and release the toxins in your body. So unless you want to run the risk of spewing or feeling like crap, get your massage when you get back from your trip.


20_0fd6aWant to show how much you party? Check out our store and start apologizing appropriately for last night’s shenanigans.


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