An elegant way to apologize for everything so wrong yet so right

 
 
 
 
 


The Gam Job

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Posted January 3, 2013 by in SCHOOL

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Sorority girls are exactly what they seem. I happened to learn this by joining one. This particular experience categorizes my sorority onto a whole new level. It’s a tradition that has been long lived and will carry on its name forever. We are known as sorostitutes, whores, sluts, and any other name in the book besides virgins. While in some cases this may be true, the Alpha Gam’s are known as the classiest sorority organization on campus (or so we think). I joined Alpha Gamma Delta not to buy my friends, but to gain experience. Recruitment is one of the most god-awful experiences a PNM (Potential New Member) or an active member has to participate in. It full of fake smiles and conversations that never matter once you’re in. While rushing, my motto was “Go Gam, or Go Home”. Lucky for me, I found my home at the Alpha Gamma Delta house.

Rule 101: Always give Gam Jobs. Since pledging my sorority, I have learned countless unwritten rules that don’t reside in our bylaws. I wondered where people come up with some of these things, but then I refrain.  It was the night of my new girl party that I learned about Gam Jobs. Every guy wanted one. I was eager to hear about them and wondered if I should give my first one that night.  The older members were passing around a bedazzled decorated paddle with endless amounts of male names on it. Next to each name was a date. The older members would point at names and laugh to each other. I was desperate to know why.

“Missy, what’s a Gam Job?” I asked eagerly.

“It’s the best way to torture a frat guy” she said.

I sat and wondered if torture was taken literal in this sense. Needless to say, I performed my first Gam Job that night. After my conversation with Missy, I was on the prowl.

Frat guys do not have good intentions sober or intoxicated. A drop of alcohol is an immediate search for a hookup. It wasn’t that hard to find a guy who wanted to bring me back to his “man cave”.  On our walk to the frat castle, I tried remembering everything that Missy told me, but my stumble made me lose my concentration. We made it to his house and found our way to his room. I looked around in disgust and wondered what that lingering smell was. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make.

I was ready to get this over with.  The guy started making his way towards me while bumping into everything in his path. Even though his face was attractive, his drunken ego ruined it for him. The closer he got to me, the more I regretted choosing him to take me home.  As we started kissing, I started to become sober. I was bored and ready to Gam Job his ass. His hands outlined the curves of my body. I felt his fingers slowly find the meeting point of my pant line and shirt. This was my cue. As subtly as possible, I rolled over and placed his hand underneath my arm. I cut the silence with some words.
“Thanks for a great night”.

I turned my head back and kissed him on the cheek. Before I knew it, I was asleep. The next morning I woke up at the frat house feeling accomplished. My first Gam Job. When I scanned the room, I realized that he was nowhere to be found. Instead of being a nuisance, I collecting my things and made my walk of shame home.

In all actuality, frat guys hate Gam Jobs. It’s a cruel way for us Alpha Gam’s to rebuttal against this animalistic breed of men. A lot of fraternities avoid us to escape being Gam Jobbed and being the un-epic bro on Sunday chapter. While we sulk in our accomplishments, frat stars dwell on their Alpha Gam experience. Not all Alpha Gams follow the rules of Gam Jobbing. In fact, some ignore them completely. We don’t have names for these women. If anything, we call them mistakes. But, since they are our sisters, we always forgive and forget. The term Gam Job was coined over fifty years ago by some brilliant alumni.  Everyday, we thank her for creating such a successful experience.

Rather than living up to the “sorostitute” label of all sororities, we chose to stand out. When I first heard the word Gam Job, I automatically assumed it related to something sexual. A Gam Job is where an Alpha Gam brings a guy home, getting his hopes up that he’s going to get laid. The farthest a Gam Job will allow us to go is making out; anything else and you’re considered a whore. Once he’s hot and heavy waiting for his seven minutes of heaven, we hit him where it hurts. Not literally, though. We stop all sexual encounters and just cuddle. In the morning they are left with blue balls, while we are left with our pride.

 

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