An elegant way to apologize for everything so wrong yet so right


So You Want to Hook-Up With Your Hot T.A….?

Posted January 31, 2013 by in SEX

School just started, fuck yes! It’s back to the land of horny coeds and unlimited alcohol. No more worrying about your hometown cops busting a party ’cause the neighbors still think of you as an underage middle schooler – even if you do act like one.

Since classes are by far the biggest downer about any college campus, you have to try and find some sort of motivation to even go, otherwise it’s sayonara to this four-year ride.

The simplest one? Sex, of course. It’s easy to go ahead and pick out a litter of sorority chicks that you know are the wildest on campus, or find the preppy bro who looks like he’ll be on the cover of GQ someday, but if you want to really separate yourself from the pack, go after your T.A. Is it easy? More than you fucking think.

Here’s a couple situations to help boost your grade at the end of the semester, and show that Assistant what you’ve learned in the sack, and not in his/her boring class.


4. You’re Graduating, and Really Need to Pass This Class. You know you’ve canned it all fucking semester, so put in a little extra credit a couple weeks before the final, and earn that passing grade. Set up some times for a “study session” in his/her office, and show your T.A. why you should be their favorite student. You might have slacked off in their history class, but you sure do have a Master’s in Sex Ed.


3. You’re Just Really Horny. Attractive people like banging attractive people. We know when we fucked our T.A., we knew from the first day of class what we wanted to do. She had huge boobs, hot face, and looked like a closet freak. With a room full of horny dudes thinking the same thing, we wanted to be the one that bagged her… and we were.


2. Put in The Time. Just like at a bar, it takes some effort to get noticed. We’re not talking about bringing in a goddamn apple every day, but every once in awhile heading up to their desk to ask them a quick question about class, or trying reminding them how great of a instructor they are always helps. If you really want to separate yourself? Do like us and drunk dial them mid-semester by getting their number from the damn syllabus. We’re not too proud of this one, but you know what? It fucking worked. Chick talked to us for a couple hours, we did a little drunk dirty phone shit, and ended up doing the dirty a couple hours later. It’s not the smoothest way to do it, but then again, either is buying drink after drink at a bar.


1. Don’t Make it Obvious. If you think your T.A.’s going to risk their job because you’ve got a little kindergarten crush on them, you’re fucking insane. You can’t just head up to the front of the class and try and slip your number, expecting them to call. You’ve got to disguise it the best you can, and se how they react. Subtle hints are the best way to go, but remember, you can’t just ask them out on a damn date here.


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