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People Who Aren’t Getting Laid: Tim Tebow

Posted January 23, 2012 by in CELEBS

By Eden Amans

We’d like to offer a small tribute/entirely public acknowledgement to those this year who aren’t getting any action. No matter what crazy antics they get into, they won’t be getting anyone to come home with them.

This week’s celibate candidate: Tim Tebow

Don’t get us wrong, Tim Tebow could get some action. Becoming a meme, taking the field by storm, literally turned into a verb, Tim Tebow is a hot piece of ass (not to mention he makes bank because he’s a professional football player). Tebow is on this list because he chooses not to get laid. He’s made a stand, proclaiming that he’s a virgin and proud of it. Don’t believe us? Here’s the press conference!

If this is some Jedi mind trick, we at Sorry For Partying don’t get it. But it’s working. Tebow’s sex-appeal is rapidly increasing as each girl he meets attempts to convince herself that she’ll be the one to score a touchdown. Tebow’s virginity is also a huge reason he’s so popular, spreading across tabloids nationwide. He must have an amazing publicist and a hell of a lot of lotion.

Cheers to Tim Tebow for having everyone on the planet concerned about his sex life! Start using it though, bro.

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