Drunkass Dispatch of the Week: Going for GOLD(schlager)
When you’re an Olympic athlete, damnit, you can do it all. You train four fucking years to try and be on top of the world, and then, “poof,” it’s all over in a flash. That is of course, unless you win a medal.
We all saw what happened after our friend Michael Phelps took home a record number of gold’s in Beijing four years ago. Dude blew up. Puffed some weed. And got his ass paid and laid.
Now Great Britain’s gold medal cyclist (and Tour de France winner) Bradley Wiggins is doing the exact same thing. Thank fucking God this dude celebrated like he was supposed to. It’s the goddamn Olympics. Who knows if you’ll ever get another shot at it, so best thing to do is go as hard as possible when you’re there. Our favorite part is he actually tweeted the madness to his 400,000+ followers for all to see, saying he got, “blind drunk” from raging his ass off. We have a pretty good feeling he was wheeling and dealing chicks in and out of his spot in Olympic Village too. Ahh, the life of a gold medalist and Tour de France winner!
Though he’s not repping the red, white, and blue of the U.S., let’s get a round of goldschlager, raise our shots to him, and then see who’s still in for a little Tour de Franzia a little later. Chances are he’ll add to his already impressive summer of winning (and drinking).
Want to show how much you party? Check out our store and start apologizing appropriately for last night’s shenanigans.