An elegant way to apologize for everything so wrong yet so right

 
 
 
 
 


BILLY BOY’s “Just the Tip”: Get It On Without Pissing Off Your Housemates

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Posted March 27, 2012 by in SEX

BILLY BOY knows that while relationships can end on a moments notice, roommates last until the lease runs out. Sharing a space can have its challenges – your buddies know your business.

To keep things on the up and up, follow these sexetiquette rules.

1. Keep Your Vocals to a Minimum, and Ask Your Bedmate to do the Same. Have some fun, but keep it quiet! Make a deal that whoever comes the most silently gets to pick the time and place of the next quickie. Have you ever seen your chick try to muffle her moans with a pillow? It’s fucking hot. A gentle reminder with your hand over the mouth doesn’t hurt either.

2. Arrange Your Furniture So Your Bed Isn’t Against Shared Walls. Bring out your inner handyman, and tighten any loose screws on the bed. Pull the bed away from other furniture, and place rubber pads on the foot posts. You get extra points from us if you strut into Home Depot and declare your sex-soundproofing project.

3. Bring in Some Backup Noise. Music. Fans. White noise machines. Any of these options will be much appreciated by your roomies! Alternatively, do not yell this!

4. Figure Out When the House is Empty. The advantage of this rule is you can disregard rules 1-3. Let the screaming begin!

5. Try Keeping the Nasty Strictly Nocturnal. That’s usually when your roommates are out drinking, getting laid themselves, sleeping, or have the option of putting ear plugs in while they sleep. You can always treat your roommates to a pair of plugs, too… and lunch the next morning.

6. Bang Someone Who Has Their Own Place: Then all this will be a moot point, and you can always have sex there! This is definitely the best option. Happy Shagging!

Have you seen our new shirts yet? Check out our store and start apologizing appropriately for last night’s shenanigans – even if we all know you’re really not that sorry!


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