An elegant way to apologize for everything so wrong yet so right


4 Free Places to Take a Girl

Posted November 30, 2012 by in SCHOOL

If you’re running low on cash—like most college kids do—then you need a few spots to take a girl before your parents replenish your bank account.

Because nothing blows your chances more than taking a girl out to the bars when you have no money, here are some free spots for you to try and get your swerve on.


1. Hotel Jacuzzi. This takes a little trial and error, but nothing gets girls excited like a hot tub mixed with some danger. “Who knows if we’re getting kicked out of here? Let’s just try it out.”

If you’re lucky, the staff will treat you like a guest and bring you towels and shit too. Ladies, commence ovulation.


2. The Beach. If you live by one, why in the fuck wouldn’t you take a chick to the beach? And besides the lady you’re with, you get to look at some of the other scenery running around in their skimpy little bikinis.

This could be a great filter for you bros that may have picked up or gotten a number from a dugong at closing time at the bar. So next time you go out, leave the beer goggles at home. She could have easily said yes, and some stenches don’t come off in the shower.


3. Go For a Walk in the Park. Look around, there’s somewhere close by where you can take a girl for a walk.

You can walk on the beach, on a boardwalk, in the woods on some kind of nature trail, try to find some shit on campus, whatever you want. There’s tons of shit to do in any college town.

Nevertheless, you should probably bring some rubbers. If this walk goes the way it should, you could be in the fast lane going southbound to pound town.


4. Ask For Help on Your Homework. This is a classic two for one. Now you have a girl coming over to help—which means “do your homework.”

You’ve already kicked out the beginning bullshit stage and got straight to business. If she makes you some food too, then you should marry that girl… I’m just kidding, don’t be an idiot.


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